An open letter to the strongest woman I know

I have been contemplating on whether or not I wanted to make a post about this but with today being October finally I figured this would be the best time to do so. I'm sure that everyone has seen that this time of year every single retailer out there starts selling pink EVERYTHING. That's right its breast cancer awareness month!!! Before this past year honestly I never felt anything from it. I mean its a great cause I just never felt something from seeing that little pink ribbon on anything and everything. I have told this story before but some may have not heard it so here it goes again.
My mother sat my brother and I down on Christmas eve and let us know that back at Thanksgiving she had found a lump. Trying to be optimistic as possible we told her that everything would be fine and that it wasn't cancer. I felt something about this that wasn't right but obviously did not want to think the worst. A couple of weeks went on and I kept feeling this feeling that I wanted to hug my mom a little tighter when I left to go back to Richmond or tell her a few more times that I loved her. My mom had her appointment for a mammogram and they wanted her back for a biopsy. The nurse usually calls and informs you of your results. The day my mother was diagnosed the doctor called her personally and said she needed to see her as soon as possible. When my mother told me this I could hear the tears swelling up in her eyes as she was fighting them back.

"So what does this mean?" I asked while already knowing the answer. "I have cancer." my mother said not wanting to believe the words she was saying. From that moment on my mothers world changed completely. Days and weeks felt shorter with the unknown of what comes next.. My moms fiance sat her down that afternoon and they talked about all of this that was going on. I got a phone call just a few hours later as she said, "you need to come home Sunday." Of course at first I thought the worst and was afraid. I could hear my mom smiling as she said "we are getting married Sunday I need you there as my maid of honor." The wedding was a kept a secret from friends so that they could have a small intimate wedding. Now I have always been a person that is emotional about weddings but that was an understatement for my moms wedding. I was crying happy tears for their amazing relationship, and sad tears for the news of cancer.

Weeks went on as the news of diagnosis was still  fresh in every ones mind. I remember fighting back tears constantly. I would fake being happy but if I sat down too long I would hysterically cry. My nightly routine became crying myself to sleep as Brandon held me. Knowing how bad I was the entire time just made me more upset thinking of how my mom was during this entire time. I thank God for the amazing man Kyle is for all the amazing traits he has that help balance my mother, give her structure, tough love so she wouldn't give up and just loving her. I remember walking into my moms pre-op room with his eyes filling up with tears as he broke the news that the cancer had spread. I had this heavy weight of bad news on my shoulders that I knew I had to share with the rest of our families and friends that were coming by later and constantly texting my moms phone (which I was responsible for). As my brother was on his way I waited outside for him and lost it when I saw him walking up letting him know the bad news. We held each other and embraced the love with had as siblings knowing that if something would ever happen from this we still have each other. I wish that I was closer during those times obviously because I knew sometimes we both needed a shoulder to cry on. You don't realize how much something like this could bring family together. I remember my step dad telling me "remember if anything ever happens I'm still here and this house is your house too" I fought the tears as he told me this. We had recently began clearing out my childhood home to sell and get off my moms hands,

My mother fought and she fought hard. We had heart to heart talks about how she felt through all of this and how she was coping. I remember when my brother was sick and was thought to have mono and for health precautions he couldn't be around my mom that often. I remember her telling me saying that she felt like a bad mom because she couldn't be there for her son when he was sick. There are so many things we did not share during that time. Like the fact that I would have dreams that she was gone, how I lived without her, waking up crying because she NEEDS to be there for my children one day. Or how I had thoughts that she would be sick forever and I would never see her happy again. All those fears have gone away.

We knew from the beginning of this that triple negative breast cancer would be extremely aggressive and its so true. It was aggressive and hard to fight but my mother fought so hard. She fought through chemo and radiation. Now we are hoping that the cancer does not come back. With the power of prayer she conquered it once and I'm sure if it was to ever come back she will fight again. Team Becky is forever strong. I pray for the day that my mom is 100% clear of this terrible disease and that she will never have her head bald, or another chemo treatment. But for now we just continue to pray.

This month I ask you to remember everyone that has yet to be diagnosed, for the ones that have been diagnosed, for the ones who are fighting, the ones who have fought and the families of the ones who have lost their fight.

Also be thinking of mom and I because on October 10th we are participating in a Breast Cancer 5k.

So mom this is for you. I consider you to be on the bravest, strongest, and most courageous people I know. I never thought something like this would happen to you. But I know of all the people to have something like this happen you would fight and never give up. I know at times it was hard and you were scared and probably ready to give up but I'm so thankful you didn't. I cant lose such an amazing woman like you. Your strength gives me strength, you are my biggest fan and best support system. But know that you raised me right, you raised me into the woman you are. I love you more than life itself mom and God helped you fight this so you can be an amazing mother for years to come.

xoxo
Lainey

Clean, green, organic machine!!!

I hope everyone loved my first blog post and started researching to find out more! Since even my last post I have found out more things! I hope that this post informs everyone some more. I found out that Sally Beauty Supply actually has an organic section! I found some shampoo from there, Jamaican Black Castor Oil. It is a shampoo that helps cleanse while being color safe and it also helps grow the hair! Buy it here! Now I have also found instructions on making your own shampoo from Pinterest! If I try that out I will let everyone know! I am also on the search for a organic dandruff shampoo for Brandon. 

Now I did make my own soaps!! I bought the kit from Michael's. It was about $15 and was so easy! I even used my own essential oils for headache in some of them. I want to try out different ingredients to make different smells. I am currently using my Shea Moisture Jamaican Black soap, the one that smells like banana, and its awesome! It does have black suds but they do wash off! 

Becoming 100% organic is so much more than cosmetics so I started researching ways to make my household cleaners organic too! I found super simple recipes for laundry detergent, fabric softener, and febreeze. When finding these recipes make sure to find non-toxic and natural ingredients. When I learned about all of the toxic stuff I was using i emptied the bottle out and tore the labels off so I can reuse them for other things.

One of my clients recently gave me the idea that once all this gets started and I get the recipe for everything down pat that I should open up an Etsy shop! I haven't looked into it yet but I find this idea interesting!! 

My mom and step dad have a bee farm at their house and my mom has gotten me some bees wax so that way I can try out chap stick!! My next couple of steps will be finding local places to get more supplies. I also found that there is a local store here in Richmond that makes and sells organic goat soap. 

So for now that's all I have for everyone!! I hope to find more items and am able to try out new recipes that way I can send them your way soon! Stay on the lookout for tomorrow I have a special post I will be sharing tomorrow!! 

See you on the clean side ladies and Gentlemen!!!

xoxo 

Lainey

Paraben?? What is a Paraben??

As some of you may know my mother recently conquered her battle with breast cancer. During her fight she researched a lot of causes and reasons for breast cancer, one of those being parabens. 99% of breast cancer patients have parabens found in their tumors and tissue.1 The worst part about all of this is that parabens are found in everyday items we use. The top types of parabens are: methylparben, Ethyl paraben, Propyl paraben, Butyl paraben, Isobutyl parben, and E216. These are found in common cosmetics, deoderants, shampoos, conditioners, shaving gel, toothpaste, lotions, sunscreens, makeup, cosmetics, pharmaceutical drugs and some food additives. Studies have shown that when these items are spread onto the skin they can be absorbed into the body and cause serious damage over time. 1 Parabens can attack your body as an estrogen, casing damage to muscle mass, extra fat storage and male breast growth. "The US Environmental Protection Agency has linked methyl parabens in particular metabolic, developmental, hormonal, and neurological disorders also in cancer"1 So even after all these studies knowing these horrible toxins can cause people to not have children, or if they do have children they have asbergers or worse, people are getting cancer and older adults are getting Alzheimer's because, excuse my language, we are putting SHIT in our bodies. why are we letting this happen?? So instead of continually using these horrible products im taking a stand and i hope you will too. 

When I found out all of this horrible info and after watching The Human Experiment (check it out on Netflix) I realized the damage I was causing to my body. I also found out about the app "Think Dirty". It is super simple to use all you do is scan your current beauty products you use and see what toxins are currently in the products you are using, They rate them on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst. I found out that ALL of the items I was using from my hairspray all the way to my toothpaste had some type of paraben, carcinogen even FORMALDEHYDE!! I cant believe I was putting that in my body, granted I was only putting these items on the outside but all types of products you use that have these chemicals in them find their way into your blood stream or body. I just still cant get over that one of the products I used EVERYDAY had formaldehyde in it, which was chap stick! I was putting a chemical on and in my body that is used to keep dead bodies from decomposing!! So pretty much I have been pickling my body with a horrible chemical that also causes cancer.

So now that I found out that I'm ruining my body with all this I trashed it. All of it. I researched and found healthy products that are not only natural but 100% organic. My biggest issue is that I am a hairdresser and so now I know what is in these products I'm using on a day to day basis. So now I have researched professional products and their ingredients. So with this blog I will keep everyone updated on brands and product lines that I have found work and don't work. I am also going to start making some items, such as soap, lotions, chap sticks, and makeup.

So here are my product suggestions for everyday products. For professional products I am struggling a little bit, most products have fragrances that can danger your immune system. These fragrances are still undergoing research to find out the true danger of them. The one that I am using currently is Matrix Total Results Amplify Volume. (you can buy it here) This product is not shown on the Think Dirty app so I am unsure of its rating but Matrix is slowly changing their line to offer paraben free items so I did my research and found out that there are no parabens in this product, yet with the fragrance in it this does cause it to be rated high on levels of "organic". I am still on the search to find a 100% organic shampoo. Once I find it I will post it here. I am currently not using a conditioner, for personal reasons being that my hair has been too flat lately. Also once I find one I will let you know also. So now onto styling products, I am currently using Big and Sexy Full Bloom styling spray (buy it here)and Nixon Hairspray, I have yet to do more research but I know that Big and Sexy now pairs with Breast Cancer Foundation and has made paraben free products. According to Nixon's ingredient label there are no parabens in them. Other chemicals yes but you have to start somewhere, I am constantly doing research to find more about these and get to a life of being 100% organic.  Now I have found at least 95%-100% organic soap and I am so excited about it. The brand is Shea Moisture I found mine HERE, The best part about it is that it has 100% natural ingredients, plus is smells like banana!! This brand has everything from lotion to shaving cream. Check them out!

 I also found out that a brand that my grandparents have actually been using for years is ORGANIC! Burt's Bees people! I am loving this stuff! I got some chap stick and it has a tint to it also and smells like pomegranate! Burt's Bees also has shampoo, lotion, toner and shaving cream. The only issue is check the label, some of their products are good and some are bad. check out their website here. Alba Bontanicals also is a great brand, they have a Hawaiian line that smells great and is also organic, I got some makeup wipes to also come home to find a DIY makeup wipe recipe. Once I test those out I will share the instructions. TJ Maxx hooked me up the other day with organic products! I found a brand called PlantLife that makes some KILLER soap I got coconut lime and lemongrass! (check it out below) Now if you are a country lover like me you will love the body wash I found! A La Maison make it and its HoneySuckle scent!!! Its a french made product that smells awesome! You can purchase it at Meijer, their website and Whole Foods. Toms Of Maine is recon mended from my mother. I found out they make toothpaste, mouthwash, and deodorant. Now that brings me to this issue.
Natural deodorant...let me be straight forward with you. It makes you smell, or as the words of my boyfriend, makes you STANK. He told me that about 2 hours of being at work he could smell his BO and I had the same issue. When i researched this, its actually very common. Mainly because the horrible aluminum in regular deodorant is what is used to keep your pre-puberty stank away. I did read you can do a natural detox to get those chemicals out and it can help rid the stank. I bought Brandon and myself Green Beaver. This is a Canadian brand but I found it at TJ Maxx. I am going to set it back and continue to use my Old Spice deodorant which isn't the greatest but i cant be at work smelling like a 13 year old boy. So for now the journey continues! I did make some natural bronzer, I got some small mason jars, the list of ingredients is easy. Also this is the picture of what is looks like on the skin, I made the medium powder and I did not add Zinc but added extra arrowroot.

Also I got some natural aromatherapy oils. PLEASE don't try and sell me essential oils. The oils I got are for stress and headache, and seeing that my sinuses hate me lately the headache one did WONDERS.

I hope you guys do your research, download the Think Dirty app and see what crap you are putting in your body. I need to get your feedback. I don't want to see people I care about putting cancer causing chemicals in their body. I also understand a lot of things can give you cancer but why not start with something easy then work your way to other things. I am so happy to be on this journey and to see the results from it!! So today I will be making my own soap and lotion. I will keep everyone updated!

See you on the clean side ladies and gentlemen!!



Research Findings

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/04/02/toxic-parabens-on-breast-cancer-patients.aspx